
Compulsions are a bother, like paperwork I don’t understand.
I have fear that I would like to address. The fear of losing a loved one. There is no immediate threat concerning this fear, at all.
I have noticed that my great fears are rooted from all which I cannot control.
The junk drawer is full of junk. I want to organize the junk drawer, right now. There is a crumb on the carpet, but I already have my shoes on. I want to crawl across the living room floor. I want to pick up that crumb. The laundry bag is filled with dirty clothes. I want to wash all of the clothes, right now. I want to dry the clothes, right now. I want to fold the clothes, right now. I want to put the clothes away where they belong, right now.
I spot a smudge on the window.
Did I turn the stove off? Did I lock the door? Do I have fresh drinking water inside of the fridge?
I battle against my compulsions.
I must leave my apartment. I must go to work, right now.
Life resumes its charge, as my thoughts refuse to turn down the volume.
The sky screams freedom, as the birds glide with ease. The leaves dance with stillness, with no mind at all. The feral cats stalk the birds, as congruent to their nature. The squirrels run up the trees to play.
My own mind confines me. I want to feel free from my own mind. My mind that thinks constantly. My mind that cast shadows of doubt. My mind that becomes confused. My mind which complicates all that is simple.
I don’t want to drown in the shallow waters of no thought. I don’t want to drown in the deep waters of too many thoughts. There must be a way that I may
float
with the storm
in the sea.








